“I almost lost my life, just to discover that I never extually LIVED.”

A very wise person once said: “The biggest gift that you can give yourself, and someone else, is … yourself.” It is very difficult for me to share a very personal part of my life with you, but I do it in the hope that I can touch your life in some way. My name is Marius Bezuidenhout and I want to welcome you, and thank you, for the choice you had made to visit this website. Please use livingoutloud.co.za as a mirror to look into your own life.

HOW LOW SELF-ESTEEM LIMITED MY ABILITY TO LIVE MY LIFE.

As a child I was very shy and had very little self-confidence. It was very difficult for me to make friends and I lived a very isolated life. As a result of my low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence I found it very difficult to communicate with people. People accepted me as a quite and shy child who did not like to socialize with other people and this isolated me even more. Allthough I desparately wanted to be more like other children I did not know how to break out of my shell.

DON’T ALLOW IT!

I have been struggling with my low self-esteem for the past 40 years of my life. I never made a consious decision to try and improve it. I have excepted my low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence as part of my life, something I could not do much about. My low self-esteem prevented me from developing any meaningful relationships, taking important decisions in my life, advancing in my career and it had a negative effect in every area of my life. Negative thoughts and feelings like fear, bitterniss, self pity, jeolosy, guilt, blame, inferiority, disappointment and hate dominated my everyday life.

ITS NEVER AN OPTION.

In July of 1997 my life took a turn for the worst. I could not take it any more. I was tired of the emptyness, lovelessness and loneliness in my life.

I did not have the courage to break out of myself. I was blinded by hopelessness. This emotional pain had become unbearable. It felt like nobody really cared, and I decided that the only way to free myself of this life, was to end it. While I was busy planning my suicide I started to pray and asked God  to forgive me for what I was about to do. In that moment God spoke to me, and reminded me, of how precious my life is to Him and how much He loves me.That night, I gave my life to Him, and He renewed my life. Suddenly I could see how I was destroying my life. I was so busy pointing fingers at other people, and blaming them for my problems, instead of standing up, asserting myself, and taking responsibility for my own actions (or lack there-off) and reclaiming control of my own life.

I DID NOT LISTEN.

Although God changed me as a person, and how I view my life, I was stupid and did not do what he asked of me. I was still looking for excuses and allowed negative thoughts and fear to dominate my life. Soon I was back on my old and familiar path of self destruction. I still did not make any purposeful efforts to change myself and my life.

WRONG CHOICES.

In July of 2005 after many more wrong decisions, loss of my parents, and my whole life that started to fall apart, I was back to where I was 8 years before. Yet again, my life had become unbareable and I was seriously contemplating suicide for a second time.

MY CALLING.

Again God reminded me of the task He had given me 8 years before. I laid my life before Him, and asked Him to forgive me and show me how I can use my broken life to help you. This website, and what you will learn from it, is a result of that life-changing day, and has developed and grown into what you see today. This is only the beginning.

I hope that you will give me the opportunity to help you. I know you will agree with me when I say that suicide, or just the thought of it, is never an anser to your problems. Even just thinking about it robs you of energy and time that you can utilize much more effectively in creating a new life and future for yourself. This web site was created to show you how.

Most people look down on people who try to commit suicide and see them as weak selfish people who are unable to handle their problems and then try to take an easier way out. Are you one of them?

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

It is unfortunate that so many people spend their days using their precious time and energy to live lifes of self destruction. We carefully nurture our negative thoughts, our destuctive beliefs and feelings like fear, bitterness, hate, jeolosy and guilt. Most of the time its such a part of our lives that we are not even consciously aware of what we are thinking.

Your thoughts determine the degree of success or failure you will have in your life. What you think and how you choose to react to those thoughts will grow you as a person or destoy your life. Relationships start to crumble, marraiges land on the rocks, kids get hurt and this leads to more negative thoughts and feelings. This destructive cicle brakes you down emotionally and you project this on the people around you. Furtermore, your unhealthy eating habits, smoking habits, alcohol and drug abuse adversely affect your health.

All these things are just a very slow form of self destruction and does not only affect your own emotional end physical wellbeing, but also have a very negative affect on those people close to you. Are you living a life of self destruction? You can decide now to end this cicle of self destruction.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

The good news is that you always have a choice. You can decide for yourself how you want to view yourself and your life, and thereby you can determine what your future will look like. By making a conscious decision to take control of your thoughts you can start building a strong foundation which will help you achieve your dreams and goals and create the success and happiness you deserve.

DO YOU HAVE A PLAN.

There was a time in my life when I thought I was indestructible. I thought nothing and nobody could touch me or bring me down. My life was destroyed because I allowed it to happen. I did not know what I wanted in life. I did not have any definite plans for my life and was not prepared for opportunities that came across my path. I did not always know how to handle my problems. Don’t let a negative view of yourself, and a destructive lifestyle, deprive you of living a prosperous life filled with joy, success and happiness. You deserve only the best!

MAKE A FRIEND.

Remember that God has a plan with your life. He is always excited about your life, because He alone knows what you are capable of doing in your life. The journey of life can be very difficult. Why travel alone if you have the opportunity to journey with a Friend. A Friend that knows you very well, that love you unconditionally, and that will provide you with everything you ask for, to be the best you can be. He will always be there for you and will never leave you behind, doesn’t matter how difficult your journey gets. Isn’t it exciting and fun to travel with someone you can share anything with? Take a decision today an invite Him into your heart and to be your companion on your life journey. You will be amazed to see how your life unfolds in front of your eyes.

JOURNEY WITH ME.

If you don’t feel ready today to meet God and invite him into your life, I would like to invite you to come on a life-changing journey with me, you never know who you might meet along the way. This web site is especially created for you and will make a positive difference in your life, if you give it the opportunity to do so. You have the assurance that God is always with you, He loves you and will always be there to support you.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Maybe you feel discouraged, frustated, or maybe you are starting to lose hope that your life will never get better. Maybe you feel isolated and alone and your future looks very dark. Maybe you just need some inspiration and motivation to find your way in life. Whatever stage in life you are right now, remember, it is only temporary. Something better is just around the corner. 

Livingoutloud.co.za is being created for you to get the best out of your life. Make a wise decision right now and start construction on the life you always dreamt about. You deserve it, and its never to late to start.